I have noticed something recently. I worked at an Adidas store in Las Vegas on the strip up until February of this year when I resigned. Most people who worked there besides management were between the ages of 16 to 22. I watch my children who are 5 and almost 4 go hard on each other at times over the smallest things, then cry when someone does something to them. I saw a kid coming from school run over another kid on his bike and laugh, until the kid got up and flipped him off. The kid on the bike started crying an ocean. The music of even five years ago has turned into nothing but happy club time in my opinion. Lady GaGa is the biggest artist out right now (whom I still think used to be a man, sorry). Dance music has always been around but I notice that its the ONLY thing they play on the radio (I wish I had a penny for every complaint someone gives me). Homosexuals are running rampant and even comparing their sexual rights to civil rights?! Come on now, seriously. The way you look and what you do in the bedroom are worlds apart. I'm strictly-clitly but I have no problems with what people do with themselves. I'm more of a live and let die type person. So what the FUCK is going on? Why is it that people have become so over sensitive when it comes to themselves, and equally insensitive towards others?
During my time at my former workplace there were many things that irked me so bad that I was ready to deal out ass-whoopins to just about every employee. There were some real cool cats, even in management. One of my managers was playing for the same team, but he was still cool and respectful. There was an ex-athlete (Majors) and a man with an obsessive passion for the Pittsburg Steelers. The rest of store management, however, can kiss my natural black ass- especially the only other male manager who acted more feminine than the women and the gay man combined! To this day I'm ready to beat his ass if I see him on the street. But I'm getting off subject. I always felt out casted for being an over-performer. I pretty much was the top salesman there the month following my injury. Yet I was constantly overlooked for promotions, new positions, and even had my credit given to other employees at times to upper management. Favortism-that's why I quit. But I was there putting up with their bullshit for about nine months before that. I have thick skin, something most 80's babies have. That and the fact that I am originally from the south side of Chicago-not Las Vegas where I live now.
90's babies-what happened? Why are you so aggressive until someone checks you, then you want to cry? Everyone at work was a fucking comedian until-What! The black guy makes a joke. Then things get extra serious and suddenly I have committed some sort of heinous crime. Really? Note that I already had this perception about the younger crowd, however; at my place of employment I witnessed it 1st hand and confirmed my new beliefs. People got upset with my brand of comedy, yet no one had any problems pointing out when I did something wrong and trying to have laughs at my expense. WTF!
When I was in my teens it seemed I would get into it with someone every other day out here. Everyone was a tough guy. To this day I constantly walk around with a mean mug ready to fight. Its hard to get out of that. But I notice now that even when I walk through the supposed "hoods" (I Chuckle) of Las Vegas, people tend to step the fuck out the way. I'm confused. At first I thought it was because, in high school I was about 5"4. I didn't grow until I was almost 19 years old. (I'm almost 6 foot now, short by half an inch or so) but its not. Its because people have gotten scary. Its not about being hard anymore. Its about-for lack of a better term- being gay. Better yet not gay-feminine. Dudes are acting like straight bitches and its really hard for me to comprehend. People like to put me in the Gangster-rapper box because some of my music is violent in nature. I just like to make music about real life-my life. And there are still some people who live and have lived and will live like that. Anyone else who used to be like that and is now more in touch with their feminine side, must have been acting all along. So now what?
This is what. I still believe that women want a man. A real man. Not a she-man or half man or yes man or excuse man or mommas boy man. A masculine man. One who is faithful, somewhat honest, does man shit but still takes care of his house, kids, and woman. And what the fucks wrong with that? Nothing. I am a man- and there are still some out there. I think only a man would be able to deal with these over sensitive women and feminine males and still maintain the definition in this crazy world.
So what happened? Is it something in the food? Is it the way they are being brought up. Do they just need a belt across the ass to remind them of who they are supposed to be? I don't know. All I know is, I don't have to walk around ready to fight like I used to, but I'll still do it just in case there are any normal people out there left in the world. Peace.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Gemini
I love being a Gemini. The fact that I have what most consider to be eternal youth, the ability to see both sides of any argument and make an informed decision. Being so knowledgeable about anything I want to learn and the fact that everyone I know comes to me for the answers, even if I don't know, and I can still help them figure it out. Good, almost the best, at everything I do. There is a certain cockiness I have inherited after opening all these gifts from the stars or god himself, depending on your beliefs.
Some people say we are two-faced. If you consider the fact that I have no problem helping you out or hurting you in the same breath, I guess that could be considered true. Some think I am a know it all. True. I always think I am right, and that's because about 95% of the time I am. The ones who don't listen to me are the ones who always come back and say they should have, but I am not one to gloat or say I told you so either. Unfortunately this leaves room to make some serious errors in life, but as long as you learn from them and don't repeat your mistakes, you should be ok. Maybe since I try not to make others feel lesser, it is taken as I am better. Anyway I stopped trying to dummy myself down to "fit in"a long time ago. In the love department the main complaints I get are about being detached and not being loving enough. True, when I'm not really interested no matter how interested I "ACT". Sorry. I get bored easily. Once something has lost my interest, done deal. But are we not all entitled to that? Sex. The one or two women who had any complaints were the main ones jocking- must have not been that bad. That has also caused some women too hang on too long for the wrong reasons also. Let it go. Then again I don't think I've had any non frivolous complaints in the bed department. Any woman I've been with would be more than happy to take that ride again. ( Too Cocky?)
Now, I have had many acquaintances good and bad but it seems that some signs get on my nerves more than others. Now I'm not saying all of any sign is bad, but for some of these signs it seems like they belong to a person who irritates me at a certain point in time. 1st-Virgo. Yeah I said it. Fucking Virgos with their drama and needing attention all the fucking time. My sister is a Virgo and we don't get along for shit. Its crazy because one of my friends who I grew up with was a Virgo also. I don't like him too much either come to think about it. On the upside, some of the coolest people I have met have been Virgos. Comedians who keep me entertained as hell, like my BM's brother and this white kid I used to work with. Hilarious.
Next are the muthaphuccin Aries oh my god! Take note, I have been primarily surrounded by Aries since birth. My uncle, brother, sister, friends, studio owner, son and daughter. Why? Because they are so hard headed. Don't get me wrong, some are very loyal (just not towards me) care-taking, good hustlers. But the fact that they operate by doing before they think irks me. All fire signs do that and get mad about the mistakes they make. A leap of faith is good sometimes, but not most of the time. My mom is a Sagittarius-my opposite sign, and though we have some things in common, we argue on everything for that very reason. But I will say this, when it comes to a head up fight, I don't think I want another sign to have my back more than an Aries. As long as they don't stab me in it.
Guess who's next? You're right-Aquarius! The bulk of my girlfriends have all been Aquariuses. I don't know why. Its crazy because my longest relationship to date was with a Scorpio, with whom my sign has nothing in common besides sex. Actually I think I just answered my own question. I love sex. Anyway: selfish, whiny, liars, and more know it alls than Geminis are. Great at having intellectual conversations about smart nerdy shit ( I like nerdy women too) but bad at human relations. Aquariuses are the smartest sign, so that could be why these women always outsmarted me into getting into it with them. I like the fact that they'll try ANYTHING once, maybe twice if they like it. But as I said before, I get bored-easlily.
My favorite signs are: Scorpios , because they're serious most of the time like me, Tauruses-because they are fun, Libras- because we get along the best it seems, and Pisces-because they are easy to control. I left other Geminis off the list because honestly, they get on my fucking nerves probably as much as I get on some peoples nerves ( I don't give a fuck) and there have only really been a couple that I kicked it with more than once or twice.
Anyway I hope you found this shit as funny as I did while writing it. If not....Fuck you too
Some people say we are two-faced. If you consider the fact that I have no problem helping you out or hurting you in the same breath, I guess that could be considered true. Some think I am a know it all. True. I always think I am right, and that's because about 95% of the time I am. The ones who don't listen to me are the ones who always come back and say they should have, but I am not one to gloat or say I told you so either. Unfortunately this leaves room to make some serious errors in life, but as long as you learn from them and don't repeat your mistakes, you should be ok. Maybe since I try not to make others feel lesser, it is taken as I am better. Anyway I stopped trying to dummy myself down to "fit in"a long time ago. In the love department the main complaints I get are about being detached and not being loving enough. True, when I'm not really interested no matter how interested I "ACT". Sorry. I get bored easily. Once something has lost my interest, done deal. But are we not all entitled to that? Sex. The one or two women who had any complaints were the main ones jocking- must have not been that bad. That has also caused some women too hang on too long for the wrong reasons also. Let it go. Then again I don't think I've had any non frivolous complaints in the bed department. Any woman I've been with would be more than happy to take that ride again. ( Too Cocky?)
Now, I have had many acquaintances good and bad but it seems that some signs get on my nerves more than others. Now I'm not saying all of any sign is bad, but for some of these signs it seems like they belong to a person who irritates me at a certain point in time. 1st-Virgo. Yeah I said it. Fucking Virgos with their drama and needing attention all the fucking time. My sister is a Virgo and we don't get along for shit. Its crazy because one of my friends who I grew up with was a Virgo also. I don't like him too much either come to think about it. On the upside, some of the coolest people I have met have been Virgos. Comedians who keep me entertained as hell, like my BM's brother and this white kid I used to work with. Hilarious.
Next are the muthaphuccin Aries oh my god! Take note, I have been primarily surrounded by Aries since birth. My uncle, brother, sister, friends, studio owner, son and daughter. Why? Because they are so hard headed. Don't get me wrong, some are very loyal (just not towards me) care-taking, good hustlers. But the fact that they operate by doing before they think irks me. All fire signs do that and get mad about the mistakes they make. A leap of faith is good sometimes, but not most of the time. My mom is a Sagittarius-my opposite sign, and though we have some things in common, we argue on everything for that very reason. But I will say this, when it comes to a head up fight, I don't think I want another sign to have my back more than an Aries. As long as they don't stab me in it.
Guess who's next? You're right-Aquarius! The bulk of my girlfriends have all been Aquariuses. I don't know why. Its crazy because my longest relationship to date was with a Scorpio, with whom my sign has nothing in common besides sex. Actually I think I just answered my own question. I love sex. Anyway: selfish, whiny, liars, and more know it alls than Geminis are. Great at having intellectual conversations about smart nerdy shit ( I like nerdy women too) but bad at human relations. Aquariuses are the smartest sign, so that could be why these women always outsmarted me into getting into it with them. I like the fact that they'll try ANYTHING once, maybe twice if they like it. But as I said before, I get bored-easlily.
My favorite signs are: Scorpios , because they're serious most of the time like me, Tauruses-because they are fun, Libras- because we get along the best it seems, and Pisces-because they are easy to control. I left other Geminis off the list because honestly, they get on my fucking nerves probably as much as I get on some peoples nerves ( I don't give a fuck) and there have only really been a couple that I kicked it with more than once or twice.
Anyway I hope you found this shit as funny as I did while writing it. If not....Fuck you too
Craziness and Self Purported Attractions
This post is about attraction. I believe that people attract others depending on how or what type of person they are themselves. If you are a politician, chances are the people in your circle or general area have something to do with politics as well. This brings us to the crazy part. Crazy people attract other crazy people.
How do I know this. Well it wasn't until recently when my BM and I were having a conversation about it. Now, know that, clinically, she is "Crazy". She wasn't recently diagnosed with not one but two psychological disorders; disorders that she has to take medications for. All this time I thought she was being unsupportive, controlling, obsessive, and one sided. Things like getting upset with me for doing something when she already did it in the past, or expecting no repercussions for her actions or even denying they happened. I would always be like "you're fucking crazy!!". Who knew how right I actually was.
Let's get this out of the way. I am crazy. I haven't been officially diagnosed but I've taken two psychology classes and a couple of tests. I have concluded that I have something. Not too serious, so far anyway, but I also don't want to be taking crazy pills the rest of my life either. If you asked any of my ex-girlfriends including my BM they waould also say the same thing.
Which brings me to my point. I always wondered why it seemed I attracted all these clingy emotional females, being the exact opposite myself. It is because I am crazy like they are, but stronger. One person instinctively recognizes another person with similar attributes and is attracted to that. There are also many levels of instability. Naturally if someone was completely out of it they would be locked up in an asylum but there are plenty of people walking around everyday, not so crazy that they can't interact in normal situations, but not entirely there either.
All of my exes are crazy. My BM is the first to succeed in causing me serious bodily harm ( she stabbed me in the kidney with a barbecue spatula, it didn't hurt and I only bled a little ) but many have tried. I have been shot at, hit with a car and almost run down with one, almost stabbed with many different objects, kicked in the golden era, jumped ( 3 dudes and I still won) false police reports, a girl tried to set my apartment on fire, and smothered with a pillow. Each of my girlfriends has always had some type of childhood trauma: crack head mom or dad, molestation, abandonment, parents killed, etc. (I myself was beaten and abused by my mother's ex-husband). So I began to ask, why do I attract all the unstable women. Its simple, because I myself am unstable.
Note that though I have never laid my hands on a woman like that ( I did grab one by the neck and pick her up for trying to stab me, and pushed another to the ground to stop her from punching me in my face) so I do exercise some form of control over my anti-social personality disorder. I normally don't feel fear or compassion. I don't get sad or feel sorry for others either. I pretty much just get angry or laugh. Other than that I feel neutral, and I have been like this since I was at least 17. People always say I am emotionless when I think I'm just using my head and not my heart. Maybe they are right. Many considered me a loner when I was in high school because I never ran with any particular crowd, and to this day I don't normally kick it with any more than one or two people (preferably women) on a daily basis.
So what is the point of this blog? I just though I would use my self and my relationships as proof that we ourselves are responsible for what happens to us. WE can control it and we create it. i always blame myself and take full responsibility for what happens, or doesn't happen, in my life.
How do I know this. Well it wasn't until recently when my BM and I were having a conversation about it. Now, know that, clinically, she is "Crazy". She wasn't recently diagnosed with not one but two psychological disorders; disorders that she has to take medications for. All this time I thought she was being unsupportive, controlling, obsessive, and one sided. Things like getting upset with me for doing something when she already did it in the past, or expecting no repercussions for her actions or even denying they happened. I would always be like "you're fucking crazy!!". Who knew how right I actually was.
Let's get this out of the way. I am crazy. I haven't been officially diagnosed but I've taken two psychology classes and a couple of tests. I have concluded that I have something. Not too serious, so far anyway, but I also don't want to be taking crazy pills the rest of my life either. If you asked any of my ex-girlfriends including my BM they waould also say the same thing.
Which brings me to my point. I always wondered why it seemed I attracted all these clingy emotional females, being the exact opposite myself. It is because I am crazy like they are, but stronger. One person instinctively recognizes another person with similar attributes and is attracted to that. There are also many levels of instability. Naturally if someone was completely out of it they would be locked up in an asylum but there are plenty of people walking around everyday, not so crazy that they can't interact in normal situations, but not entirely there either.
All of my exes are crazy. My BM is the first to succeed in causing me serious bodily harm ( she stabbed me in the kidney with a barbecue spatula, it didn't hurt and I only bled a little ) but many have tried. I have been shot at, hit with a car and almost run down with one, almost stabbed with many different objects, kicked in the golden era, jumped ( 3 dudes and I still won) false police reports, a girl tried to set my apartment on fire, and smothered with a pillow. Each of my girlfriends has always had some type of childhood trauma: crack head mom or dad, molestation, abandonment, parents killed, etc. (I myself was beaten and abused by my mother's ex-husband). So I began to ask, why do I attract all the unstable women. Its simple, because I myself am unstable.
Note that though I have never laid my hands on a woman like that ( I did grab one by the neck and pick her up for trying to stab me, and pushed another to the ground to stop her from punching me in my face) so I do exercise some form of control over my anti-social personality disorder. I normally don't feel fear or compassion. I don't get sad or feel sorry for others either. I pretty much just get angry or laugh. Other than that I feel neutral, and I have been like this since I was at least 17. People always say I am emotionless when I think I'm just using my head and not my heart. Maybe they are right. Many considered me a loner when I was in high school because I never ran with any particular crowd, and to this day I don't normally kick it with any more than one or two people (preferably women) on a daily basis.
So what is the point of this blog? I just though I would use my self and my relationships as proof that we ourselves are responsible for what happens to us. WE can control it and we create it. i always blame myself and take full responsibility for what happens, or doesn't happen, in my life.
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